When the Holidays Feel Heavy: You’re not alone

This time of year is often painted as joyful and magical, but for so many people, it feels heavier than expected. If you’ve noticed yourself feeling overwhelmed, drained, or even disconnected during the holiday season, I want to gently reassure you: there is nothing wrong with you. Truly. And you are not alone.

What you’re experiencing is something I see often in my work, a very real emotional response to holiday overwhelm. However, by approaching these feelings with compassion and curiosity, we shift from self-judgment to a place where we can begin exploring healthier, more empowering ways to navigate a stressful holiday season.

WHY THE HOLIDAY SEASON CAN FEEL SO EMOTIONALLY INTENSE

1. The pressure to “feel happy”

 Holiday messaging can feel like a mandate: be cheerful, be grateful, be joyful.
But forced positivity often backfires, leading to shame or self-criticism. It’s okay if you’re having a different experience than what you think is expected of you.

 2. Emotional layering of old memories

This time of year can bring up reminders of: loved ones who have passed, past holidays that felt difficult, unresolved family dynamics or even noticing traditions that have changed.

Even when life looks “fine” on the outside, past memories can surface quietly in the background, layering the present moment with a heaviness that’s hard to name.

 3. Social and family expectations

Gatherings, travel, coordinating schedules, and being around family can all pull heavily on our emotional bandwidth. For those with strained or complicated relationships, that pressure can feel even more intense. Even genuinely positive moments can be draining when there’s so much happening at once.

 4. The mental load increases

Busy holiday seasons can require more planning, more decisions, more spending, and more logistics.  All of this stacks on top of your everyday responsibilities, and your mind naturally feels that extra weight!

IT’S OKAY TO FEEL THIS WAY.

Fatigue, irritability, or low mood during the holidays isn’t a personal failure. They are signals from your mind and body that you’re carrying a lot. Validation, not judgment, helps the nervous system settle. Your emotional experience is valid and real. Let’s lean into understanding it and curiosity, especially during a season that feels overwhelming.  

PRACTICAL TOOLS TO HELP YOU FEEL MORE GROUNDED THIS SEASON

Let’s talk strategies that are simple, sustainable, and effective; even if you feel you have no time right now.

1.    Let Your Feelings Have Space

Take a moment to check in with yourself. How am I actually feeling? What is coming up for me? Replace “I shouldn’t feel this way” with “It makes sense that I’m feeling this right now.”

Reframing is the practice of noticing harsh or automatic thoughts and gently offering yourself a more compassionate, grounded perspective. It’s not about forcing positivity. It’s about finding a truer, kinder way to understand what you’re feeling. 

Think about a conflicting feeling that comes up for you, notice if there is any judgment, and give a more compassionate reframe.

2.    Build Small Pauses Into The Day

Take intentional micro-breaks:

• 3 minutes of intentional breathing

• 10 minutes outside

• Stepping into a quiet room during a gathering

• Taking a moment for a small pick-me-up

• Offering yourself kind, validating words

Small resets prevent emotional overload from accumulating.

3. Set Gentle Boundaries

This might look like:

• Limiting how long you stay at an event

• Choosing one gathering instead of three

• Saying, “Can we keep it small this time?”

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out. Boundaries are about protecting the parts of you that need care.

Ask yourself what feels emotionally sustainable instead of what feels expected.

 4. Reach Out If You Need Support

If this season feels particularly heavy, connecting with a therapist can help you untangle the emotions, grief, or stress underneath. Support doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means you’re taking yourself seriously.

 A FINAL REMINDER

It’s okay if this season is beautiful and hard.
It’s okay if you’re grateful and tired.
It’s okay if joy doesn’t come easily right now.

There is room for your full emotional experience, without judgment, without comparison, and without pressure to be anything other than who you are.